Cheaters are very much like Jekyll and Hyde creatures. They may have a long track record of being dependable persons of high morals and otherwise “good” people but as soon as they start cheating they take on a similar persona to a drug addict, doing almost anything to carry on with their cheating and almost always at great expense to those around them including those that they cheat on.
The cheater will engage in numerous insidous tactics to hide the affair but the most common and severe ones will be manipulation of their partner. After all, many people who discover an affair such as neighbors or coworkers will not get involved and often the last person to discover an affair is the person being cheated on. Therefore, this person is really the main “threat” to the affair and this is why cheaters invest so much effort in weaving a web of lies and manipulation to stop them from finding out. Here are some of the most common dirty tricks that cheaters use that you should be on the lookout for as possible indicators that you are being cheated on.
Dropping “Warning” Hints
A cheater will often try to drop hints that the marriage is on the rocks or that alternatives should be considered. These hints are rarely discussed but the cheater thinks that by dropping the hints that the other partner “should have seen it coming”.
For example, they may raise the idea of polyamory (having multiple lovers) which you will likely ignore or not entertain and thus in their eyes they now have implicit permission to have an affair because you would not allow it. This is a pathetic attempt to blame you for the break up.
It may even be something much more benign. For example, the cheater may want to spend too much time hanging with friends or pursuing personal hobbies. When you object to it, they will claim it later as a contributory reason for the break-up, even though the vast majority of people would view the amount of time they had been spending away from you as being wholly unreasonable.
Sudden And Frequent Arguments
Cheaters commonly start arguments with those that they are cheating on.
For one, they are in a confused and stressful state and prone to wild mood swings, especially when under pressure. For example, you may ask a simple question such as “how was your day?” and the cheater will feel great pressure to explain his actions without giving away the affair and will react with anger. Many of those being cheated on say that the cheater often yelled at them.
Cheaters will also use this as a dirty trick. By deflecting the focus away from them and onto you, they will hope that you don’t suspect them. At the same time, they will accuse you of lacking trust in them, an argument they may use later to falsely justify that you caused his or her straying.
Accusing You Of Cheating
Another way in which a cheater will try to deflect focus away from them is to accuse you of cheating. This is because to accuse someone of cheating is to assume a high moral position (that you detest cheating). It is, of course, hypocritical for a cheater to accuse detest cheating and in this way the cheater is hoping that you assume they are acting in an entirely logical way.
Ironically, the cheater doesn’t realize that this dirty trick actually exposes them. If you know that you have done nothing to deserve an accusation of cheating, this is a major red flag that you are the one being cheated on. Cheaters often don’t realize how their dirty tricks can easily give them away because they don’t think far enough ahead, always bobbing and weaving from the latest threat that might expose them.
Denying Cheating Until The Last Possible Moment
One of the biggest mistakes that people make is to confront their partners with nothing more than just a gut feeling that they are being cheated on or perhaps a few circumstantial clues.
A cheater will always deny their infidelity. For one, they want it to continue and it is convenient for them to have two partners serving their different needs. Secondly, an innocent person will always deny having an affair so why not pretend to be innocent?
Confronting your partner with very little evidence is always doomed to failure. In fact, the tables are likely to be turned on you instead. One of the cheater’s favorite dirty tricks is to accuse you of being paranoid, of letting your thoughts get carried away.
Actually, the cheater has a point. Unless you have conclusive evidence of an affair, how do you know for sure that your partner is guilty? Like a detective operating on a hunch, occasionally the accuser does get it wrong. It is easy to “fill in the blanks” based on a few clues but the truth could actually be quite different or even worse than you had thought.
It is far better to avoid these dirty tricks and collect all the evidence required before making a confrontation. Not only will this immediately stop the dirty tricks the cheater is using but it will also give you a full picture of the truth – something that you need before proceeding further.
As you can see, cheaters are full of dirty tricks but being prepared and observant are all that you need to spot these tricks, expose the affair and turn the situation round to your favor.
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